Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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