Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
