May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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