Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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