U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
