he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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