Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
