If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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