im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
