do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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