So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
