I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
