I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
