Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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