pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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