It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
