Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
