about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Couch. On fire.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
