I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
