it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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