My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
