all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
