Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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