I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
