You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
