Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
