those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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