hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
