You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
