i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
