dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
