Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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