There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
