It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
