Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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