then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
