Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
