Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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