I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
