For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I pour the whiskey from now on
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
