Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
