plz talk dirty to me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
