dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
