Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
