why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
