i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I enjoy the company of your penis
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
