I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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