you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
