Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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