Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
