she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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